August 10, 2021
Always thinking that
My natural rhythm is wrong. 😒
This Line is where my Personality Moon drives me.
So, on top of being unhappy with what I am doing, when I am doing it, I’m also completely moonstruck and super dependent on what the Earth Trabant is doing.
Is it waning? 🌘
Oh no, I don’t have the energy for anything.
Is it full? 🌕
Oh no, I can’t sleep and have to wander around in it’s light, having all kinds of weird encounters with fantasy creatures.
Is it new? 🌑
Oh no, now I have to stop and do some kind of ritual for all the new things, that will come into my life soon. For starters, let’s wave some money towards it.
Don’t get me wrong,
I love the Moon. 💗💗💗
And especially here, on my beautiful desert island in the Atlantic Ocean. I have never felt closer to it. I’m in awe, when I catch it slowly emerging out of the ocean like an enormous pan cake glowing in orange hues.
My favorite constellation in the sky is right before sunrise on my morning walk, when – on special occasions – I’m walking towards the Sunlight and the Moonlight is still there in my back.
The golden and the silver light mingling over me.
Pure magic. 🌞🌈🌝
But back to my rhythm.
As it happens a lot to me lately, I wake up at 4:00 in the morning, creative ideas pouring into my head, until I’m ready to explode, ready to start writing, ready to be productive.
And then I have to give up sleep, get up and just do it.
Meanwhile my head goes:
“Should I really be doing this right now? Shouldn’t I go back to bed and try to sleep? I really need my eight hours. Why can’t I do, what I feel that I should be doing? Is there something wrong with me? Will I get sick, if I’ll keep on doing this?” 🤔
And on and on and on…
That’s the 5.3 in the detriment for you. Or the “that”, as Ra preferred to put it.
Ra also suggested, that as a 5.3 Liner you should
Use your imagination!
to go where you’d rather be. Instead of literally going there. Meaning: dream about yourself being busy while laying flat on your back and vice versa.
When I do that, my imagination goes completely wild. 🙃🙄🥴
Like that time, when I thought, that I knew my co-worker from another life time. My life in Atlantis. And then, all these images started pouring into my head, about how badly we used our powers and how we got punished for it.
The whole thing got so epic, that I wrote it down in a letter.
I have no clue, where it all came from. And if it’s true or not. Probably not. But that’s not the point. First I thought, it was just crazy, now I think, that it’s beautiful art. If you’d like to know more, you can read the whole letter, which has turned into my second eBook here.
Let’s just say, using my imagination doesn’t work so well for me, when I’m unhappy with my natural rhythm.
I‘m having a hard time, being Earth bound in this body anyway.
Being right minded, I’m always wayyyyyyy out there. My active body has always been alien to my mind, it felt like such a pain, such a constriction, such an outdated model.
From another aera, long ago.
But, as we all know:
The body rules everything. 💪
I got that now.
And I mean, it really sunk in.
Starting my own Human Design experiment stopped me from trying to escape my body for good. No more trying to find a way around it. No more trying to transcend it, so I wouldn’t need it anymore.
I know, it sounds silly, but now I see,
There is no life without the body.
So, I better accept it.
The bottom line is:
I’ll always be at odds with my own rhythm. 😬
Because ultimately, I’m built for that.
Owning it, I can have Peace. 😊