June 28, 2022
Gate 46 is the Gate of the Vessel, of the body, of the temple of our soul.
My fourth Line is defined by my Design Mars. Which means, that I have no real access to it. Still, I feel as if I’m growing into the understanding, that I have exactly the right body for my geometry.
The 46.4 tends to
fall blindly into a new experience 😮
and needs to live it out fully. As it is typical for Fours, they get rather fixed on the experience. And may ignore the allies who helped them get into it in the first place. Even though, that’s rarely motive driven, it might be painful for the other.
I very much relate to this, even though I have this Line in my open G-Center.
I think, it was this Line, that made me move from Germany to a Spanish island and back again. And my unconscious hunter from Line 35.4 might have had something to do with it, too.
Basically, it was all
my body’s doing. 💪
When I first moved to Spain, more than fourteen years ago, my body was tired of the cold, the rain and the darkness of Northern Germany.
Fortunately, apart from the beautiful sunny island, there was someone even more attractive pulling me south like a magnet.
Offering a new life in paradise to me… 💑🏝🌊
After more than a decade of sun, heat and emotional upheaval, my body got very uncomfortable. It had enough and developed a craving for cool air and cloudy skies instead. For shelter and protection. ⛅
Also, my Spanish lover had turned into my ex-husband. We had gone full circle, and there seemed to be nothing left to experience together anymore. 💔
Several years of deep healing, reflection and processing the experience followed.
As a result, my body decided to jump back north.
And yes, with hindsight I can say, that it was a painful but rewarding experience.
The most important gift being, that
I got closer to my true self. 👸
To who I really am.
Gate 46 is also the
Gate of Serendipity. 🍀
Unexpected events can look a lot like luck, but they’re really the byproduct of effort and dedication. At least, that’s Ra’s description of the Gate.
On that note, I want to share
my latest experience, 🤩
which took place at the dentist.
I was scheduled to get a root canal treatment, but the drill didn’t work.
While the dentist kept on trying, I was wondering, what the delay was preparing me for.
I was quite sure, that it was
something good. 👍
Here’s what happened:
- I realized, that the anesthetic was too weak. My tooth still hurt. I told the dentist, and she injected a stronger dose, until the tooth went completely numb. 🦷
- While I was waiting for the pain to subside, I suddenly heard my Dad’s voice in the hall. He wanted to make an appointment, and when the dentist informed him, that I was there, he came in and gave me a hug. Which was a lovely surprise! 💞
- From the balcony next door, a woman was shamelessly staring into the consulting room, which made me feel very exposed. Because of the obstinate drill, we moved into the other consulting room, where the blinds protected me from view. ✋
The delay brought me
Three glorious serendipities. 👼
And lately, it seems like I’m seeing more of those.
I take them as a confirmation for being in the right environment. It has been the correct decision to dedicate myself to
building a new life in Germany. 🏡
Which is such an ambivalent process.
Because on one side is the old, that I lost and miss a lot. The beautiful view, the Spanish endearments and, of course, the ocean. To only name a few.
The losses make me drown in overwhelming feelings of grief sometimes. 😭
My new life still feels unreal to me. Like I’m in the wrong movie.
On the other side, there’s the new coming in. All the gifts and opportunities and most important, the support of the right forces.
Finally having “real” people in my life again, makes me feel grateful, excited and more alive. 🙏
So, up and down the waves go. From pain to hope and back again.
Every 07:07 or 21:21 confirming, that I’m aligned.
As Ra said:
We’re all constantly in the right place. 👍
Which, of course, doesn’t mean
that it’s easy.