May 3, 2022
What a beautiful, beautiful Line!
My Personality Saturn defined it at the day of my birth. Making me think, that this is my job.
Just to be. 😎
What a joke! 🤣🤣🤣
Try living like that in the NOT-Self world of Generators-gone-Manifestors. Where the only thing, that counts is, what you produce. What you do. What you have.
None of that is of any consequence to me. None of that is my job.
I identify with existing. For existence’s sake. 🌺
Imagine, how nice that could be…
The problem is:
I have to earn money. 💶
And it doesn’t come by just existing.
Or does it?
For me, that came true in the last years of my life. So, I have proof, that just being works.
When I was still living on my Spanish island, I had difficulty with working as an employee. I could only hold down a job for about a year. Then I had to quit or I got sick.
When it all came to a head, because of my second divorce, I got severely sick and had to quit my job, because I wasn’t functioning anymore. I was crushed on all levels of my being. And I had to pull all the resources, that were in the background waiting for me, thanks to my family. Because of their generous support,
I managed to live without earning money for the next five years. 👍
The money just appeared in my bank account. Like magic. Without me doing anything.
It might sound wonderful and easy, but that brings it’s own kind of a challenge.
whenever you have money, the money is having you, too. 💰
As an Investigator, I had to start studying money. And the more I learned, the more I freaked out about the fact, that we don’t HAVE our money, when it’s only nubers in our bank accounts. The bank owns it. We only have a claim on the money. And there’s always the threat, that
If the bank went bankrupt, we could lose it all. 😨
That’s why it’s called the money illusion.
So, I studied many ways of how to invest money. Which were rather complex, difficult to grasp and long term. Or they seemed easy and risky at the same time. 🤨
The only certainity, I came up with, was:
We need money in order to have money. 💰💰💰
Did you notice something?
Even though, I didn’t do anything to earn the money,
I was still working for the money. 😂
Money was my boss now, because I needed to find out, what to do with it.
And, thanks to Line 2.3, which is defined by my Design North Node, trial and erroring me through life, I made quite a few mistakes. If you relate, you can read more about that Line here.
For example, I got sucked into the sales funnel of a particularly sneaky financial manipulator. Who pulled out the money from under my ass, promising me the world and making it sound so real. I spent much more, than he could ever have earned me in return. 😡
Yes, I made some stupid decisions in a hurry. Out of my NOT-Self mind. That I still regret. Even now, when I know, that it was choiceless. 😥
After five years, the biggest part of the money was gone. I made a few investments. Also in myself, becoming a Certified Practitioner of the Completion Process.
So, at least, even though I can’t say that entirely about spending the money,
I spent my time wisely.
I worked through the grief of my divorce. I learned about my feelings. To sit with them and let them run through me. I healed my childhood wounds. And went deeply into the backlog of pain and rage. Which was hard work and rewarding in its own way.
And I studied Human Design. In depth. And with pleasure.
My Motivation is Innocence. 😇
I never know, why I’m doing something.
For me, the answer is always: Because.
As Line 25.2 of The Existentialist projects out, I know, how to take motiveless action. How to exist in the now. Unless someone corrupts me and calls me a Saint. Which hasn’t happened yet, if I recall correctly. 😜
I think, that I have grown into innocence over time.
Taking authority away from my mind.
And only doing something, when my
emotional authority is giving me
the thumbs up. 👍